That time we were 70%

On today's episode, the conversation explores the differences between being a 70% and 110% performer, focusing on ADHD and its impact on task completion. Leti discusses her struggle with forgetting to take medication due to lack of mindfulness and autopilot behavior. They emphasize the importance of routines and strategies like brushing teeth before taking pills. The discussion also touches on the challenges of perfectionism and time management, with tips like using spreadsheets and small notebooks to keep track of tasks. Kelly and Leti reflect on their personal experiences with ADHD, highlighting the need for realistic expectations and self-awareness to manage tasks effectively.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Reflecting on Medication and Mindfulness
• 4:36 Daily Routine and Medication Timing
• 5:19 Perfectionism vs. 70% Effort
• 11:03 Strategies for Task Completion
• 19:16 Dealing with Mistakes and Perfectionism
• 28:39 Balancing Work and Personal Life
• 38:06 Reflecting on Personal Strengths and Weaknesses
• 39:14 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Transcript

Unknown: 0:00

Hey. Kelly, yeah. Leti, remember that time you were so proud of yourself for giving 70% you Good morning. Hi, good morning. How are you? I'm good. I'm doing well, good, good. You know, I wanted to kind of start off a little bit by, welcome to W spank, yeah, that's what I was going to say because I wasn't already in my own thoughts somewhere else. Welcome to W th ADHD, yeah, that's the show we're on and how. So I wanted to tell you a little bit about my thoughts that I was already thinking about I noticed, and I wrote them down. Oh, thank God, because these thoughts happened a while ago and I knew I wasn't gonna remember. Oh, good. Do you remember that when we talked about how I forget to take my pills? Yes. So I was like, why? Really, why? And so I did that thing, you know, reflecting. Oh, we talked about when you kind of reflect and dig a little deeper and like, How can this be? So I figured it out. And what I wrote down is, I can't remember if I took my pills or not, and it happens when I'm not present or mindful, and I'm thinking about a bunch of other things. Oh, my God. So I almost wrote there, I almost did it again, but kept like, giving myself the cue to like, be present. And so I also, it says, I also altered the task slightly to prevent autopilot brain. I love that you have a hard time reading your own words ahead in the pattern. Oh my God. Because I was writing so fast, my thoughts was like so rapid. So I changed something, I brushed my teeth, and must have taken meds next already. Oh my god. I don't even know what I wrote my and then I stopped writing. This is my brain figuring stuff out, if you were sitting where I was sitting, just trying to work that out was just brilliant. I'm we need to film an episode once. I think someone can do that. I think I changed something in my routine that was supposed to help me, but you don't remember what it was. I remember what it was, and I think I'm supposed to be really present, so I'm not thinking about other things, which I do. Because once I'm brushing my teeth, I'm in la la land, and I'm supposed to take my meds. After once, I'm already in la la land. Here's the thing you shouldn't be I'm brushing my teeth really horribly, too, because I'm not even thinking about how I'm brushing my teeth. Here's the thing, though, you should never take your pills after you brush your teeth. I do ever why? Because you shouldn't do anything to your mouth after you brush your teeth for at least 30 minutes, I rinse my mouth out, yeah, I take my meds and then I drink black coffee to put that's wise tint on my teeth back that I just nicely brushed off. But then, sorry, it's okay. You can laugh at me. I do brush again before I put my like merry thing in my jigger, and there's a line on so I don't sit in coffee teeth all day. But no, that's my routine, because if it's not in my routine, I will 100% not remember to take it and I can't take it late in the day. Well, that's why i Oh, my God. That's why. What? Kelly, that's why I always like at night before I brush my teeth in my head, I have had it stuck in my head. You cannot take any pills after you brush your teeth, right? So I'm like, Oh, I have to take them now, done. Bye. Take them before I brush my teeth. No, because my my mouth is gross and I take your pills. Luke, here, what's in your mouth, just like TMI, right here, I pee first, then I don't know what's going on. This is not that kind of podcast. Kelly, that's a different podcast. Wait a minute. Please join us at 1130 when we discuss peeing in your mouth in the morning. Okay, hold on, I don't know why he went there. Why are we here? Why did you go there? That was unnecessary. Are we here? Look, Claudio, listen, Linda. Look, I pee first. I wash my hands. I. And then I wash my eyes, I wipe my face so that I can wake up, and then I brush my teeth and take my meds, and no one else needs to listen to this any longer. No. Okay, so how does this relate to being a 70 percenter versus 110% are so you can you bring this all back around, please, and bring it around. I'm trying to figure it out. So we had this discussion the other day about Kelly like painting a glass door that had all these little panels in it. And it's a really great story. And it brought me back to the bakery days too, where I think most of our conflicts came around me being late and me looking at your work in utter disgust and giving you shit face trying to figure out your work. Why? Woman, it's fine. Why you come see how off center, crooked, no, and all the things were, and I would just be baffled, and it would make me so angry that we would be putting out this product that was less than 100% amazing, 10% less than 110% let's just put it out there. And so it kind of like brought this conversation up between us, where you went and did this project that typically you would be operating at about a 70% and being super proud of yourself and you want 110% you you blue taped all the panels. I think you said you got, like, 20 pieces of tape. You paneled this window door thing to paint without having it be messy, so that when you're also ADHD 110% or has been looked at it, you wouldn't be bothered by these little lines, and you went ahead and did it, and that you felt so proud of yourself, and that you've never experienced this level of perfectionism ever I am literally a 70 percenter. I do things at 70% look, look at how I'm holding my pen now, it like bothers me on the inside. It's wrong with me, 70% and I have not a competitive bone in my body, zero competition period. It is not in my nature at all. I had thoughts on this. I thought about this for a long time. I would love to hear your thoughts, because I think I'm a 70 percenter, because I don't want to be criticized, but it's a given at 70% for me, if I'm okay with it, at 70% Oh, I mean, really No, but that's not all I can do. I think that's really all I can give, or that's what I thought I could give. I can give so much more. Kelly, well, I know that we can talk about that on our podcast at 1130 at night, okay, but I I know that the being a 70 percenter and not having a competitive bone on my body do go together. I know there's some underlying thing for that. What motivates you to get the tasks done to begin with, other than perfectionism, just that it has to get done one way or another, but it's like, either not done or it's done perfectly, like you don't, not for me. No, there's no, it's all or nothing, no, but I don't, I don't understand that. I don't understand that, and I don't understand how you operate like that, which is amazing, because I think we're gonna unpack this, I we're gonna unpack this because I'm setting myself up for disappointment, or you think that your prior patterns have always been kind of a disappointment thing. So you have to tell yourself that disappointment is okay in order to cope with it, so that you don't get that rejection dysphoria thing, and therefore you're actually willingly and you mean to do 70% so therefore that's what you meant. So no, I meant to do that. Yep. Like, when you fuck up, you're like, No, I meant to do that, but not like, you know what's so funny, you meant to paint my nails like that. There's sprinkles of things. Are doing things where I know that I like them, and I do it at 100% what do you sprinkle fairy dust mixed with Keef? I'm just kidding, what you don't know. Okay, well, well, that's for 1230 Oh. Am I taking show notes, very special show notes on what we're going to cover on that up, what did I just say? Keith? No. Said Keith sprinkling Keith. Not to be confused with Keith. Who's Keith? We don't sprinkle Keith. We well at 1130 we do. Okay. Wow, today is just. A weird turn, but fun. I know I kind of like it. I I'm looking forward to this other podcast that we're gonna need new that could be the name of the podcast, Franklin, Keith. Wow. Keith is lucky. So okay, Keith, write us. If I want to be No, don't write us. Okay, what did I 70% and I'm okay with it because, because you sometimes sprinkle in 100% somewhere, yeah, and things that I guess what? I don't, I don't know. I'd have to, like, now start thinking about it. Well, what makes you think that you do that and then not? Maybe I don't. I mean, like, so like, I can tell work, I can tell you hard worker, I can tell you where you're 100% okay. You can clean the fuck out of anything like that. You clean like nobody else's business that's 100% okay. And you do it like, methodically and fast, and it's like it gets done, like you see a giant triple sink of buttercream, chocolate, caramel, sticky sink that is, like, piled as tall as you are. I look at it, and I say, well, here's a match bye. And you go, okay, and you turn on that water. And somehow I turn and, of course, I don't see time, and those are done like, beautifully this day, like, like yesterday was I had to do the dishes, and Claudio cooked, and when he cooked, that's my husband. He Oh, does he cook? Mess? Flip and mess. I like to clean while I cook so I don't have a mess at the end. You taught me to be better at that. Yeah, I used to be okay. But baking a lot. It's a lot easier in life if you clean while you cook. So I saw this gigantic pile in both sinks up on the side, and I stared at it, and it gave me Ajita for about 15 seconds. Oh yeah, you can Yeah, because it wasn't very long, and I was and then all of a sudden, I just opened up the fucking washing machine, and literally, five minutes later, it was done. So let me ask you this question, because ADHD mind people want to know the Art of the Start is like one of the biggest executive function issues for many tasks, for those of us struggling with ADHD paralysis, what was the thought that really allowed you to start that task, because I started reminding myself that it really doesn't take that long, and I think I have to how do you know that? Because I am looking at my past and how long it actually takes, and I'm starting to identify now where I'm putting off doing things because I feel like they're gonna take a long time, but then I go, Okay, have I done this before? Yes. How long did it take me? Then, okay, Kelly, start because I know it's not gonna take me long, but I'm 51 diagnosed 5157 months ago, there'll be, yes, in a few months, you'll be 51 I'll be 50 Perfect. Perfect. I'll I was diagnosed seven months ago, and I'm just starting to now, when I look at a large task, stopping to see if I've done it before, to allow myself to know that it really isn't going to take as long as my head is creating it, that's a really good strategy. I think maybe, as you're talking what I'm realizing is that the start might be more difficult for those of us who have a really strong time blindness, because even though I've done that task before, I don't have a good gage of how long it took me to do that task. Sometimes it'll feel like forever, and sometimes it'll feel like it took three seconds. So I don't have a good recall of how long a task taste takes me, which is why I'll often start tasks before I have to leave thinking it'll take me three seconds, because I was only present for three seconds the last time I did it. And so I I can't rely on that past experience of how long it takes you. Only thing I can rely on, though, is how good it felt to have gotten the task done. But that might not be enough of a motivator, because it actually feels better to walk away from that mess. I feel like you need to the first step really is to just start recognizing when you're finally able to start a task and remembering how long it took. I think, no what helped me, but I'm just saying, in the future, it won't help me, because it I will not remember how long it takes. I don't have that kind of remember how long it takes. And then I go, God damn it. Kelly, just do it. So what helps me is, you know, like my favorite guru, Alan Watts. I listened to him. He's like the 70s, like Eastern philosophy, guy that I love listening to. Well, he had this one episode about when you have this pile of dishes, there really is only one dish. And the reason for that is because you can only have one dish in your hand at a time that you can clean you. So while you're looking at a pile of dishes, the washing of those dishes doesn't exist all of those you can only focus on one. And really it's about being present, right? Exactly, I try to approach dishes now with this mantra of, there's only one dish, and I pick one up, and once I've done that, I can actually get through it just fine. That's what works for me, so that I don't feel too overwhelmed with the task I haven't gotten the mantra of there's only one sock to do my laundry that way, because it can feel overwhelming. But the for the dishes, that's what helps me, because I just don't have this amazing thing of what you've got there, of understanding how long a task takes. Now I can turn it around at the right time, just before the oven beep. Somehow, there is an incredible internal clock inside my head that can tell the exact time of day, but not while I'm operating a task, because my mind is not there interesting. So 70% 110% so I had this thought about this perfectionism streak, and why that might drive that 110% versus the non perfectionism streak, right? And I think it has to maybe, and I'm not a doctor, maybe it has to do with the fact that when we look at these ADHD types, there's differences in terms of attentiveness, and there's that categorization of inattentive versus hyperactive versus, you know, the both whatever the C is, whatever the C is. Yeah, there's like, I type, H type and C combination. That's the word combination, which is interesting too, because supposedly that's like 10 years ago that there's this type. Did you know that you can actually go through different types in different parts of your life, where you start out more hyperactive, and then you you tend to go in inattentive as an adult, typically. But sounds about right? Sounds about so I think for me, I'm hyper vigilant. And you know this about me, like everything is on equal level. I'm paying attention to all things, which means I attend to details of stuff, the angle that freaking spoon is in your cup behind you, like everything is is calculated at all times, and I don't, and you don't. And I think that's where that comes from where I'm just attending to every little fuzz thing, line, so much that I have to get it right. And it's not that you don't care. It's just I'm unable to not care about that little imperfection. And so because I know I'm going to be doing whatever the task is to that 110% I didn't know how long and difficult and exhausting that might be. I don't start it until I have figured out in my brain exactly how that's going to go. And typically, once I actually accomplish that, that task gets down really fast. I mean, you see me put together cakes that should have taken days it and, you know, I'll, I'll clean a room out amazingly, or whatever it is, really fast. And that's already because I've compiled it in my head. So I think that compounds that start for me, I think for me, and what just came to my head right now, as you were talking about it, I I don't like to have eyes on me, and I think I associate perfection with eyes on you. If that makes sense, does that make sense? That's your perception on that? Yes, I don't like eyes on me either, and I actually have a hard time doing tasks when there's someone there. Like, for example, let's say, like, I know I need to clean something. I want nobody home, because I have my method, and I'm running around like a crazy person, and I don't want anybody looking at that. Also, I'll start attending to that person, whatever they're doing might influence my ability to continue the task. Yes, right. You're easily distracted. Yeah. So I need to be alone for like, in intensive tasks, yes, but you like the attention. Wants to task the sun, and everyone comes home and praises you for that. No, I like that, that the thing is complete. I actually feel really proud. I don't, I don't like that. I you know, what's so funny is when I started paying attention to the house and cleaning it and creating my own Monday, I do this. Tuesday, I do that, and cleaning the house and actually making it just clean on a regular basis. Getting attention for that drove me bananas. What do you mean you got attention for like because Claudio would say, oh, it looks really nice in here. Grazza would say that bothered you. Yes, what? Because it should always just be like this. It should always be clean. But Did it bother you that they were complimenting you but didn't contribute? No, I didn't that didn't bother me. I understand how that bothers you, because I did a great job. Good job. Kelly, why does that bother your head? The better in my head. Better compliment is saying nothing. Because. Because it's normal that now that makes zero sense to me. What do you mean? Then people don't notice and don't give you gratitude for all I'm okay, and I'm okay with that, though I don't care. I don't want the gratitude because it's the focus. I don't like the focus on me, but not saying anything is literally a non comp, like zero. I'm okay with that. I don't like being complimented. Why not? Because I feel like being complimented puts me up front and makes me seem to a bunch of people. Does that make sense? Like I don't like being the center of attention and I don't like being what people look at, so if I participate at 70% nobody would look at thank you for doing a great job. Nobody's gonna compliment the 70% employers get this. But here's the you know, What's so weird about actual work? Like, yeah, work, no, literally, like, your work and horse, you are a work horse. You get stuff done. Like, bam, bam. I said, bam. In work, I have a to do list, and I fucking knock that shit out first thing in the morning, like for me, it'll be interesting when I go back to work. If that happens, laughs, manically evil, evil. Was there an evil laugh? Whole strike going on? Yeah, no actors and, oh my, no matters and all that good stuff. But eventually, when I go back to work, it's gonna be interesting to see how I participate in the day, because my norm is to knock shit out in the morning so that when the Fit hits the Shan, I can tackle it right then and there. Like, that's my thought process. So I'm never having to wait till the end of the day to do this, this, this, these, these menial little tasks that can just get out of the way right in the beginning. Yeah, you're really good day, like you are. I would rather leave my day, because inevitably, the Fit hits the Shan and you're like a maniac. So at least I don't have to worry about all that little stuff that's already done. Yeah, it's really hard for me to turn off work like I could probably work 24/7 I mean, you saw me. I would be there till four in the morning. Sometimes, if I didn't have that external cue to leave, because I just get into it and then, like, oh and I can knock this out, because I still have the energy and oh, and I can knock this out. I yeah, I like that. You can just like, go in at five, do the things, and then leave. Oh. But remember, in my line of work, though, if even though we have two completely different type jobs, when I go back to work, it is 24/7 so how do you how do you like not work 24/7 that is unfortunate. I can't I don't know. That's my job. What kind of boundaries can I put in place? Honestly, when the strike is over, we'll see. But for now, the way television works is, you work 24/7 I don't know what else to tell you. Yeah, well, I don't miss that part of the industry. I'll tell you that, and it's fine, and it's, this is what I know, and I'll make good money. Maybe that's why I could work in the bakery so well, because I was used to like, Oh yeah, you just like, you know, sit there till six in the morning finishing a shoot. No problem, right? Like, I mean seriously, but this is more, if you're face at the craft table, right? This is more like post production and everybody you know, coming at you from every direction, that way. But that's fine. It's exciting, and it's a bit all Fine Time, fine. And I think you're gonna go back with so many more tools, though. You're gonna understand things so much better, exactly, and I'll be able to handle things better. And maybe I'll decide that that isn't what I want to do anymore. So I want to circle back to your door, because you know me, I like to dig, dig, dig my door. Yeah, the door you painted that made you feel really good that you do. I mean, that's so 500% I should have showed we can't pause this, and then we can we pause this? Yeah, there's a pause button you want to show you real quick. There's a pause button right there. Yeah, show me. Let's, let's do it. Let's go field trip. Hold on, yeah, just there's a little button there. It says pause right yeah, hi. Welcome back to oh, we were just here. No, we were back from our, welcome back for us from our field trip, and just got back from our field trip, showing you the lovely painted doors. No, no, they, they're great. I think you did a wonderful job. Now, did my eyes go to every single little thing everywhere? Yeah. But you know what I've also learned, which you helped me learn inside myself, that these high and extraordinary expectations I have for myself, I can't impose them on other people. No, no, they're not fair and they're not realistic, right? Because not like, I don't make mistakes, right? And I rationalize those mistakes to myself, but that there's no reason to have that type of expectation of other people, because we have different brains, and doing that kind of thing really discourages others from from doing especially if they're loved ones or people in your life, if you come down hard on people like that, and I used to come down hard on so hard on you, and I remember like that one time, like it sticks out. For me, where I did that, and I saw, like, how crushed you were, and it really changed something in me and and I was able to from that moment, like, really just let go and stop being a total bee about things, and realize that it's not that important. The world's not going to end. It's really hard, and I still am. You know what's so funny in certain aspects I'm really hard on myself, which is, as I well, I think we all are, yeah, right. Like, work related stuff, when I mess up at work, it like, literally fucking tears me apart. Oh, like I die inside. Like it takes me days to recover, days. And here's sometimes, like I've let so many people down in the grand scheme of things, doesn't matter. No one remembers. And this is what I'm hoping when I go back to work honestly, because I want to see how I react when I fuck up, because I will fuck up. It's inevitable, and because you can't learn if you don't make mistake. But I want to see how I deal with it internally, at work, when I'm at home making mistakes, I will feel guilty, but I can get over it quicker, but I haven't been at work yet, to see how I'll react to mistake. Well, I think you're gonna still have those same reactions. I don't think that's gonna change. I think what's gonna change is what you do after that reaction. I think because you've gained so much more self awareness and you've you're building strategies, I think you know, you'll understand, oh, this is happening to me right now, I could scream, I hope so, yeah, or, or just take a moment and really reflect on what's actually happening. And I think this podcast, for me at least, is really changing a lot of those, yeah, so don't expect to not experience those things, because that's unrealistic, right, right? Your emotions are valid, and we're going to be have much more easily dysregulated brains, emotionally, it's just how ADHD is. We have this really quick, dysregulated limbic system, but to there is a way to come back from that, right? So Exactly, and that's really what, what has to be the the thing you hold on to is, is there's a way back. So just because you're experiencing this big feeling doesn't mean it has to get out of control and you lose your mind. You can actually take part in what happens after that, and you can do some things to control the degree that that occurs at I had this thought before I started talking, and that went away, and it was good. Oh, it came back. Hi Patty. Oh, thanks for coming back. You're talking about mistakes and how people don't really like you know they're it's not as big of a deal as you thought it was. And what I learned is that, yeah, mistakes aren't that big of a deal, necessarily. What is a big deal and what people will not forgive you for is being late or turning stuff in late, that seems to be a universal like anger making thing, and you know, because it disrespects their time, it makes them feel like you didn't think about their need, or that you just don't care. And so that's something I've worked really hard to not be late on reports and appointments and things like that, because that seems to be the one thing you you can't you can't fix. People will always remember that you're late. And so for those of us who have this tremendous difficulty with time, you know there have to be a lot of systems in place, which also includes saying no yes to new jobs or new projects. Yes if you have X amount, which I never used to, I just know nice. That's probably what made me the most, compounded that angry at the bakery, I would just say yesterday, never saying no. And it just in my head, I was like, Letty, you can't, you're one person. I can't, like we can't deliver three things in a day. It's not gonna happen setting up three and we have, then we have, you know, our friends coming and helping us deliver things, you know, and me driving back from Malibu to Encino to pick up two dozen tarts that we forgot off the dessert table, uh huh, and that was the one that they really wanted, like, because we're rushing right? That rushing to complete, and then when you're rushing to complete, your work is obviously going to suffer, right? And yeah, and it's just, it's just yeah. So, like, really tough, tough, tough, tough thing to work on. Yeah. So for me, with my line of work being a speech pathologist, there's a couple of things that I've put in place. And, you know, I think anyone who kind of has like these reporting data. Lines or project deadlines. Maybe they'll benefit from that, but I have a running spreadsheet of the tasks, which, for me, are people, right, and when their authorizations expire, when those reports need to be put in, and then so that there's that due date. But I have an extra column on my spreadsheet that's about two weeks prior to that due date, that's my internal due date to start gathering all the information and all the things I need to be able to get that report done in that next two weeks, in case they don't show up because they're sick and I can't get that data or anything like that, I give myself a little window to start that project early. So I think for those of us with ADHD, with time issues and lateness, you cannot look at a due date and make that your personal due date. You have to change to a two week or a one week prior due date to ensure that you have a little wiggle room for whatever life throws at you, whether you get a car accident, you get a cold, you gotta go deal with your kids things, or whatever it is, because apparently that happens all the time, and you can't say it's not gonna happen. You have to think about that. And that has helped me tremendously to really be not late on those and then I have little alerts that kind of keep me going, and then I copy that into a daily agenda. I run a physical written agenda, because the act of writing it out that motor task engages my brain's motor strip, and that engages more places in my brain being active for that particular task. So I'm more likely to have it be on my register and remember it. So the more ways you can kind of stimulate your brain towards an activity, the more likely you are to recall that event. I have this i What do you do? I use spreadsheets at work all the time because I have so many series of dates for each particular show has a series of dates, due dates, so I always have a spreadsheet showing all those due dates. But I have, I mean, I can't tell you, I've always done this, and it must have been, well, what about people who now knew? What about people who don't have that in their life, I don't know, but I just know, years and years and years ago, I started these spreadsheets because I had to predate things for myself. You recognized that that was my thing. It was me going, I'm gonna predate this shit so I got this fucking shit done faster. You know what I mean? Like, in my head, no one can say, right, that I'm not look at you right, like, I'm gonna, like, I'm gonna, nobody's gonna know that I'm gonna do this two days before. You know what I mean, like, I would I do? I send out reports early, but I put it on the Send Later, right? Like, a schedule send. Yeah, I do. So I mean that because I don't want people to think I'm doing things early. I don't know why. I right, and I just, I have a head that's just kind of, that's something that's always been in my life, only because, like you juggling, I have to juggle. When you have to juggle four different shows doing, you know, 25 things at once for each show, there's a lot of stuff going on. If I have a spreadsheet for each show telling me I need to, don't forget to do this then, and do this then and do this then. I mean, it just makes my life like perfect. So in the mornings I come in and I look at my written to do list, because that gets written every day as I'm working. I finished something. I'll pre book five days out. Don't forget to do this. You look at my I have like i The pages are, are filled because I've pre done everything or pre booked it, so that I don't forget it. Catches show at 1130 were Kelly's pre done. I'm always pre done. Yeah. So I think, Lord, you know, we need to also think about, for those of us who don't operate with technology, what are some things you can do to help this system, or create a system. Because post is don't work like they just I, honest to God, I just use my post its, have post its and it doesn't work, no, but, but for those of us that don't do technology, right, what can they do? This is my favorite. I use something that isn't technology, right? You said it. It's a it's a notebook, yeah? Like, some reason I think the bullet journals are awesome. Journal, no, it is a notebook, not even eight and a half by 11. What's small? What's the next size down? Smaller, smaller than classic, five by seven, compact size. Okay, five by seven, notebook, lined paper. That's it. Like a little journal, yeah? And it's just dated at the top, and it has your to do list. That's it just take. Yeah. And for me, opposition notebooks are good to like that and things like that, but small, not big, because now seems too overwhelming. You can't carry it around with you. It's too big. It has to fit in the purse, like lightly, though. But here's the other thing that I do, you have to be able to find it? So it needs to be a really bright color, because there's the other this is, and this is only my crazy brain. Tell me about your crazy brain. I can only use one sheet of paper a day. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So you if, if I fill up the right amount back, I there's no more paper for me to use. Wait, what so all my tasks? Oh, that's a really neat role we have. All my tasks have to fit on the front. What if you have more tasks? As your brain keeps thinking about new tasks, where do you put that? I pre book out and go, Oh, okay, I'll do that on an Ask tomorrow. Yes. Oh, you. So you have your needs. Like I said, I my little teeny, tiny notebook is dated two weeks out, and there's like shit in all those two weeks, conundrum, conundrum. You filled out your page, then you remember a task that actually has to be done today, but there's number one on your page. What do you do? Take like one of the tasks and pop it forward, correct. Cross that out, push it forward and put that task in. Interesting, yeah, cross it out. It's done. I don't have to think about it. Well, you can't do that. But in order for arrows, like I use an arrow for any task come forwarding to the next day, I put an arrow next to it, so that I know I've attended to that task, but that it got pushed forward. And then for me, I check the task off when it's done, but I also have to cross the check in order to know it's done, done. Really. Done, done, correct. Okay, so if there's not a cross check on a check, I have to go back and look and see if I finish. But that sounds like 100% kind of task. Kelly, you're 100 percenter. I don't know what, what makes you think you're no, what makes you think you're a 70 percenter? It's just with work. Oh, Letty, but literally, just what? Work is a big part of your day. You don't have to 100% the rest of the things. What? What do you what are you 70 percenting? I don't get it. Everything else, what in my life, what I don't know. I don't think so. I you're I don't think so. Okay, when think You think so? When I actually have to point out a task, I think that's when it it becomes a 70 percenter. I don't but I don't think you complete it 70% I don't think you do a crappy job. I don't think you leave half dusted. I don't think you not half. It's it's enough to be okay, but not enough to be perfect. It's enough to be fine. No, I think you're 100% or no pain. You are having to be fine. I don't need to be more than fine. But that's the thing. I don't your level of perfect is more low. No, it is 110% because you think you're doing 70% work, but you're actually doing 100% Oh, I don't know about Haha, you're one of us. Nope, I disagree, because I don't, but those jobs that I say are 70% are I can even look at them and know they're not 100% that's because you want it to be 110% you think you didn't get there. So then why am I okay with thinking I'm a 70 percenter? Because that's the only way you can rationalize the fact, yeah, you didn't get it to that level true. So it doesn't disappoint me, it doesn't hurt and make you bleed. Kelly, my God, welcome to the 110% club. Hate you. I don't like this club, and I want to out not a cool club. This is a geek club. I am not going to be a part of it. No, I refuse come back to our 1130 show. Oh, you can be 70% and it's okay. What a trip. I hate you. I'm so glad you. You're not nice lady. I don't like you. Okay. Well, now this is for Rita, leading off and let you sit with those thoughts free. Ruin you again. Great. Wow. Okay. Well, there you go. Another now Kelly has to go fucking picking up life again. Call your fairies, literally, I should be like a guru by the end of this stupid podcast. Oh, that's smart way, though. I just need to. What this tells me is that you're great, okay? And you're awesome. Well, it's, you know. No. It's kind of cool to figure this shit out. It is, and it also goes a long way to show us how skewed our perception is of our own selves, not wild, and that really 100 percenter that you have to kind of dig. Don't figure that out, yeah, because you don't want to be known as No, no. Those are, I think defense mechanisms, I think all of that's in place to help you operate at this level, to not have this dissonance between what you think should be done and what you're actually doing, which is still great. It's just doesn't feel like it's at that level, because you want it to be 110 right? Interesting. Wow. I recognize that it needs to be 110 so I either do it or don't do it. If it's can't be there, whereas you actually started and do it. So you're better than me, shut up. But I'm better than me. You are better than me. You're better than me. Wait, that's not the taunt, wait, is it backwards? I'm talking now, wow. Well, thank you for joining us, w t h, A, D, H, U, T H, enjoy your perfectionism streak. Start the task. Freak out over your perfections. Tell yourself that 70% is better than no percent. I think so. I think so too. So start that task, whatever that may be. Start it. Just start it. Just grab one dish. 50% just get one dish, just one dish. There is only one dish that's it. There's only one dish that's the only thing you can be present for only one dish. There is only one dish and one sock and one smell, maybe a pair. Well, no, no, there's there's just one sock. God damn it, yes, dryer took another one. Oh, well, thank you for playing with us. See you at 1130 bye. This has been a Hi, it's me. ADHD production.